Tonight's practice wasn't so great, my back got taken several times and I ended up being choked as a result. On top of that I think my left elbow came close to breaking. This guy got me in an arm bar, with my strong arm (my left) I couldn’t push his legs of me with my right arm, I tried fighting it as best I could. But I just started yelling:
Tap! TAP! TAAAP! Until he finally heard me. It wasn’t very fun to say the least. One of the challenges with Cerebral Palsy, is that with damage to the brain, there is a disconnect between what you tell your brain to do, and what your body actually does. For instance, if I want my body to relax, it then wants to stiffen up and become rigid. It’s something that has to be fought through on a regular basis. I sometimes wish my body was bigger and stronger, it’s almost impossible to go up against bigger guys, and they just lay on you the entire time, what annoys me is in doing so, they look around at other people as though their bored and want more of a challenge. Yet its next to impossible to fight a man that has 150 or even close to two hundred pounds on you. I even got to roll with a much larger man than me. I knew in my mind, there was no moving this guy. I felt I was back to practicing Wing Chung, weaving through all he attempts at arms bars. Man… Something has to change. When I was doing Judo still a year or so ago, the rules changed, it became a stand up art, that was more about throwing your challenger through the air, and less about mat work. It annoyed me at first, because well. It was hard for me to stand, but glancing back on it, I’m thankful for it, because it caused people to work for trips and throws. Where as in Jujitsu, you have the option of falling on your back (pulling guard) and working from there. Even as I fight from my knees, I still want to clinch and throw, and sometimes that works, but. People get my back and choke me. Or I attempt the throw and the person pulls guard. All I know is that something has to change, because what I’m doing honestly isn’t working.